Saturday, October 29, 2005

That Other Side

EDIT: Hey good people, I know I've not done my regular blog runs lately bcoz of problems with my computer...can't stay online more than 5mins at a time:( I'm sorting out the problems & will be back in ONE day with replies to comments & ready for a new post. Thanks!
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That Other Side
-This post is 90% based on true events-
From time to time, the Mvita Don's modus operandi consists of deviating from the 'norm' such that when duty calls his personality changes to: no jeans, no cap; no tees, no slang; and definitely no bling or camera snaps.
The day starts earlier than usual with a prayer of thanks for a good night's rest (even if it was no more than 4hrs, ahem!), and hope for a better, rewarding day ahead. Quick shower followed by a quicker walk in-walk out of the wardrobe transforms last night's fun-seeking, casually dressed and easy going insomniac into today's more focused, formal looking, talking, walking & acting non-stop hustler.
Two to three urgent phone calls later confirm final details about the task ahead and add to the obvious "seriousness" of this "job". He has a light "pretend" breakfast as he again notices his state's own Robin Meade is all smiles as she reads global news on CNN Headline News-his favorite morning news station. Two minutes later, he's all ready.
A few quick but sure paces take him to the dimly-lit living room. By the coffee table he picks up the black attaché case containing his very important tools of trade-the tools of trade that he needs to ensure the 'job' gets done right. Tools he values so much fellow wise guys know the Mvita Don would die protecting them. It is common knowledge that such tools help define who he is & both friends & foes know not to mess with him when equipped with this arsenal that can determine the fate of many a man, woman and child.
Don Mvita, as others dare call him (but not to his face),knows he uses the arsenal to do good but you would know better depending on which side of the law or the street you are talking from.
A final walkthrough of his living quarters ensures all lights, doors, windows and appliances are shut & he grabs his keys as he checks the time on his wrist watch-the serious, leather strap kind he spares for such days- and out the door he goes into a world of contracts knowing today's outcome, which may be covered in the media would result in yet another urgent contract to take care of the current one. "What a life...!" he whispers to himself half smiling as he eases into the seat of the beige-gold sedan he owns but wants to give away to some anonymous single mother of 5 struggling with two jobs to put food on the table and clothe her kids. He does have a good side to him, he certainly does but there's work to do today so he remains focused.
Leaning back on the beige seat, he looks ahead as the quiet-engined machine slithers out of the parking lot. At the red light down the street, the car comes to a gentle stop. His eyes veer into the rear-view mirror and he immediately notices the obvious change. "Looking way too serious today" he says with a chuckle as he glances at the white sheet (displayed in pic) showing the increasing number of hits done, is he happy about that..?
The traffic light goes back to green, the sedan eases into the slow morning traffic and off he goes towards the rising sun...
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For now, the Mvita Don will make you an offer you can't refuse. He will grant you any reasonable photo request you make if you figure out:
a) where he is going & why b) what the valuable tools of trade are and c) what the 'hits' are
-To find out more about the Mvita Don, click on the image below.

PS: Replies to recent comments made on previous post coming up later in the day.

17 Comments:

Blogger Nakeel said...

Getting in the race and blending vilivyo.. nani kama mimi..
Bro 2 and 3 + siz inlaw and the rest.. watch me..

10/29/2005 5:52 AM  
Blogger Nakeel said...

Mvita Don alias my big bro # 1 is going to work (police department..

Tool of trade is a Pistol

HITS - Crime

Can i have a full pic of my bro from toe to head....

10/29/2005 6:04 AM  
Blogger Guessaurus said...

Is insider information here a plus or a minus? Hmm, you looking very sharp there Don - wow wow - I love a man who looks good in a suit - and I have a thing about ties - I love buying ties and matching them with suits and stuff - shame I cant wear them, although I do wear them in particular circumstances, like when i take them off the wearer - but thats neither here nor there :)

My request: do you remember the CK incident - or is that an indecent proposal - tihihihi
Well, first off, having a skewed brain means that I can read upside down, right to left, right to left upside down - gee, so now you know I know!

Mvita Don is going to either the nearest Jail, County Court or Cop Shop
Why: To interpret between some poor soul and the law makers/keepers
Tools of trade: Kamusi (well, I would need one), and any relevant language of the day Kamusis, lots of researched papers relevant to the cases, a reassuring look on face, confident demeanour, a digital recorder (tape recorder, or some recording device), bottle of water (hey, you need to wet that dry throat after talking non-stop), fish (or at least Omega 3 sourced edibles and drinkables) - you would need to sharpen that brain after having to quick-fire think in two or more languages simultaneously.
I will think of some more and come back :)
(Yes I am aware that I should be on the other side of the grill in the loonie bin - but I am in charge so drop it)
What the 'hits' are: - that is easy - every potential law breaker that gets to go home, a job well done, a thank you note dropped into the letter box, a lunch offered as a thanks that you dont have to pay, an indecent proposal from some 'real mafia don' :), some drug or other from that drug king that you helped free, bling.... ok, I need to have my head tested, and I might need an interpreter for this - know any good ones!

10/29/2005 6:47 AM  
Blogger Couch 'tato said...

-u forgot the mornin jig my bro..and why did u spare us the tinkling and dumping moments or we leave that to #2
-now why u wanna go and give out ur ride to someone else apart from fav bro #3

Where u goin?
-prospective job interview or job contract
-to the AG's chamber for a Elvis like weddin...u are the best man for some best pal of yours who has knocked up his chick
-mama's comin to town and you know she sent you that suit for christmas and you best be wearing it when u pick her from the airport
-hot business appointment with hot date

Tools of trade:
-killer smile and firm handshake
-some portfolio with all yuor pictorial works...heck some flash discs ad pics
-digital camera..or camera...
-killer jokes

Hits: sielewi question...damn i'm dumb!!!!

10/30/2005 4:35 AM  
Blogger Poi said...

Ok here I am akii. Nice post, reads as 3rd persona. Love anything done on 3rd persona. Anyhow thts besides the point let's see if I can find the treasure. When I was a girl-scout I always unearthed the hidden treasures. Now donn read too much into this lest this girl trips.

Where is he going? for an appointment or interview to try find a new contract or sign paperwork for new contracts. Or maybe akii has found a permanent jobo(extra credit bro)

What are the valuable tools of trade? akii's resume, letters of recommendation, samples of contracts done before and may be just may be a french/english dictionary(for an extra credit bigbro)

What the hits are? the hits are contracts his has done(excellently) before and has them on his resume. Hits are successes in what akii does. Hits are akii's achievements so far. Hits are what akii's prosperities to date.

For me am easy pic any good pic of you big bro(dreads may be?)

Happy Week :)

10/31/2005 6:51 PM  
Blogger Milonare said...

Hahahaha

*Milo rubbing his hands in glee*

You know where I'm going with this so dont even start on me

*temporarily distracted by the thot of Guess wearing a tie thats not hers*

Ahem.. down simba, down...

1. Where he is going and why:
To be answered shortly

2. The valuable tools of trade:
You didnt want to mention what they were hence it follows, through Sherlck Holmes-like, Poirot-like, Miss Marple-like and Ondiek nyuka-quota of Vioja mahakamani-like reasoning that the contents are unmentionabos. A pair of scissors is definitely one of the tools. The other more valuable tools are held close to the body (dont even ask me why)

3. What the 'hits' are:
By now it shud be obvious that these are participatory participators by way of jeans-wearers, scissor-renders bare-rers...

As for Number 1, he is going chez participator to participate...

Ukibaki upande huo utaapishwa maswali... Ungependa kujitetea ukiwa upande gani?

LOLOLOL

@small siz

Well done!! We are all watching you cheering

@Ni(c)ouch tato
Ati tinkling and wha??? Hahahaha...

11/01/2005 1:49 PM  
Blogger Guessaurus said...

Not wanting to tread the paths untreaded but Milo - do you wanna be going down (hmm) the route of unmentionabos and scissors - eeeich dude - that be an ouch moment right there. Tell him akeiy, dudes dont do their 'Brazilianz' down that way - or do they?
I rest my case :)Any takers? ROTFLMARO

11/01/2005 7:28 PM  
Blogger Adrian said...

since quite a number of people have some insider information (kina guess*), i assume that my guess* would be way off. so i'm going conservative with poi:

going? job interview

valuables? CV

hits? recommendations

pic: the sedan

*same as milo, the thought of guess in a tie just kinda keep distracting me...

11/02/2005 4:07 AM  
Blogger akiey said...

Hey all, I hope you'll agree with me not to say yet who's got all the answers right but will do that shortly. As it is, all your answers/speculation has some truth to it & is also very hilarious. Keep it coming:)

Nakeel, Hey Lil Sis,there's none like you, no contest:) You took the front seat bila kupingwa:)) am sure Milo, Nick & Guess don't mind your getting here first.

Nakeel pt2 You know for one to o first your confidence is amazing & your answers aren't too far off. I wouldn't say no to your full-size photo request so will do if it's clear you got it right:)

Guess,Mhmmm, insider information is a plus coz you're probably good at getting info from your mental files(hehe!) & put it to good use but negative incase you're right & folks think there's been some rigging in here. Will see by end of week:)
-Thanks for the compliment & would you believe that as much as I love my casual jeans, tee, button down shirt & cap look, whenever I go formal for about two days I come home wishing I could dress formal more often?
- U buy ties, match them with suits & then take said ties off wearer...hmm, G, I imagine you leave wearer with a broad, silly grin seeing you wearing nothing but a smile & the tie, tsk,tsk! Where's Marvin when all this is happening Babe?
-The skewed brain will get you far G! Reading in all sorts of directions will surely pay off for you. Not saying much for now but you'd know why:)!
I know a very good interpreter that could assist get your head examined,lol! The pic request...am considering, not sure about the CK but would a pic of Mark Wahlberg do as you wait,lol!?

Couch'Tato, Hey Nick,how could I not do the 5mins jig!? I do it when am not too focused on work or better still when working late at home & am taking a few mins break at 2am & my fav song's playing.
-Milo is corrupting everyone's mind & I would consider a detailed description of the tinkling and dumping moments...but how would I do the pic? Any suggestions?lol!
-Honestly bro,I wouldn't hesitate to give you the ride. Am giving it away bcoz of a nagging spare part problem (one darned problem!)that's pretty expensive to fix. Charitable agency picking it up will fix it at a low rate & give it out to said single mom of 5 for free. Hope it will bring joy to her & her fam.
-Come back for more on the HITS. Will reveal correct answers end of week. There's some truth in some of ur comments.

11/02/2005 4:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Diane Orville
Got here a tad bit late but anywho- I know you dude so that gives me inside info. Can I speculate just for fun?
You are a part time chef going to cater a wedding or birthday or some formal dinner or something.
Tools: Your recipes, spices and seasoning, silver cuttlery, etc
Hits: Formal dinners/lunches that went pretty well & you'd wanna get more calls from them?

Photo request: how about a photo of you eating or working?

D.Orville

11/02/2005 5:07 AM  
Blogger k.i.d.a.d.a said...

(a)k.i.d.a.d.a fashionably late :)

Ayyyyyy Papi *in a deep sexy voice*

I love the entire attire...looking sharp and not flashy. S.L.E.E.K! I find it an absolute turn-on...yeah, I can drool over such...crazy huh...thought ya'll knew already!

Anyway, I had gone on a 4 day vacation and the Jack Daniels on the rocks consumed is lethal to anyone's health!! I kid you not! I have the flu and its so not funny!!

Missed the blogworld and couldn't resist the questions here and what will be on offer...ehem!!

DISCLAIMER: I hope you won't change your version coz I know I'm spot on...you know that right? And you know what I'll be demanding..hehehe...so A.k.i.e.y....be afraid, be very A.F.R.A.I.D ;)

*Sly smile,biting lower lip gently and staring straight into your eyes*

Alright..here goes..
a) where he is going & why ?
Where? To the Federal Court. Why? Facilitate communication between the law enforcers and law breakers. You're the go between, the link, the interpreter!

b) what the valuable tools of trade are
A tough one but I'm hoping...a laptop. It has all the information on the case at hand. You've got various software for translation purposes and if you're a mobile laptop user, I'm thinking online translation tools and other online web tools.
Some very important and quite necessary paperwork too is included.

c) what the 'hits' are
Well, the number of times you've kicked a$$. The experiences you've so far had with different firms/organisations/people.

C'est vrai?

11/03/2005 7:46 AM  
Blogger spicebear said...

aki akiey i read the post like thrice but im a bit lost ... ok.

-where is don mvita going and why?
to the church to speak to the padre. you see don mvita is actually an exorcist and he needs details about his next ... um ...client.

what are the valuable tools of trade?
a crucifix, holy water, bibilia and an urn (in case someone is burnt to ashes) and a cool pair of sunglasses

what are the hits?
urm ... the demons? teehee, i think my imagination has run away from me!

hey, how many guesses do i get?

11/04/2005 4:05 PM  
Blogger Prousette said...

need a clue on the tools hits and job purpose as surely no inside info was ever sent my way.

Shall hazard a guess though:
Mvita don is going to work (prison department
Tool of trade:Laptop
Hits : Fallen souls

@guess and milo scissors and unmetionabos in the same phrase arouse jitters

11/08/2005 7:37 AM  
Blogger akiey said...

Thanks all for staying around & please bear with me as I sort out my home computer probs. I am unable to comment on most KBW blogs with pop-up comment boxes since any sort of pop ups force my computer to reboot, I had to change my own blogs settings to allow me to write this. Should be able to reply to your comments as soon as I fix this mess. Thanks!

11/08/2005 8:46 AM  
Anonymous mshairi said...

First of all, forget all that other people have said! I dont believe you ever wear suits, querido, oops, Mvita Don and that you are ever seen without your cap. Secondly, I dont believe you ever carry a briefcase (especially to go to dinner - unless you have become a chef and the tools of your trade are your knives?).

So where does that leave us? It is not you in that photograph...

11/08/2005 5:34 PM  
Anonymous afroM said...

pole, bado tunakungojea

11/20/2005 1:02 PM  
Blogger akiey said...

Diane Orville, Come on now "D.Dot", just because you've come around coutless for dinner doesn't mean I'd dress up to look all GQ to go fix someone a plate would I?LOL! Anyway, I like your take on this & I just might get into the catering business someday soon, let me know what you'd pay for a housecall dinner.
-A photo of me eating or working... please check your many albums, I know I appear in a good number of pics eating, working, clowning away on roadtrips & all over the place. Nice try my friend!

K.i.d.a.d.a, Judging form your past post on the Jazz Club, you my dear friend need to try your hand at novel writing to tap your creative juices:) Ok, it's obvious the Jack Daniels didn't cloud your imagination or sight...only made your blog voices more husky:))
You really sound sure of being spot on, sounding very confident now aren't we? We'll see when the tally's in. Where Mvita Don's going, why, with what tools etc? Hmmm, have you and someone else in here been talking to people I know?
Ok, quit biting your lower lip & get back to blogging before the blog police come & shut you down,LOL! Focus K.i.d.a.d.a, Focus is the key:)

PS: I am very A.F.R.A.I.D of what you'd ask for a photo request (insert worried emoticon here!)

Spicebear, Msichana, even though reading the post thrice left more confused your answers left me aching with pain bcoz of laugher:))!
Ok, so now Don Mvita is an exorcist consulting some Padre about possible clients, Hahaha, you've been watching too many movies,LOL!
Let's wait & see what answers come through in my reply to all:)

Prousette, Sorry no inside info came your way since I didn't provide any...and anyone seemingly getting answers right probably interviewed some folks that know me very well:)
Your hazard guess is an answer that has me thinking as well. Should I take on that profession, stick with it, or do you have inside info about some things & you didn't want to admit it?
-PS: I agree with you on Guess' & Milo's deadly wordplay when it comes to unmentionabos & scissors:)

Mshairi, Now you know your statement made me laught to tears querida:)! Will have to send you recent pics of me in my non-jeans moments, am sure you've seen me without a cap on more than one ocassion....ofcourse, no briefcase on me while off to dinner, my wallet, favourite chopsticks or other tools possibly...knives as a tool of trade, could do a lot with that too...like warn anyone trying to harm you my dear friend that I'll cut them down to size:))!
Let's see what the outcome of all this speculation above is & we'll all have virtual dinner to celebrate...afterall you're a winner on the other side you know:)!?

AfroM, Sema rafiki, asante kwa kunisibiri. Nimerudi sasa na nashukuru tarakishi (computer) yangu yafanya kazi poa kabisa sasa:)

1/05/2006 6:47 AM  

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